I started off alone.
But I wasn’t lonely.
I wasn’t lonely until someone told me I was.
And I believed them.
I carried that idea with me everywhere.
I made myself sick with it.
Breaking myself a hundred different ways.
Trying to make myself into something else.
Into someone else.
Someone worthy of being loved.
Of being wanted.
It had been that way for so long.
I had forgotten what it was like.
The silence of being only.
The peace that comes with that.
No voices whispering about worth or the lack thereof.
No burning hot crawling under my skin.
Stillness.
Life is funny like that.
The absurdity of what we go through.
The lengths of what we are willing to endure.
Just to end up where we started.
Having only affirmed what we knew all along.
Imagine what we could have avoided.
If only we didn’t listen to others.